Somewhere In-Between: Overcoming Perfectionism Through Habit Shaping

by Victoria A. Angulo

Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait, a sought-after one that will guarantee success. However, perfectionism frequently leads to negative self-talk that actually makes it more difficult to achieve one’s goals. I finally recognized the negative effect of my perfectionism after reading James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. This book taught me about habit shaping, a powerful technique that encourages and rewards partial success. Habit shaping allowed me to weave exercise into my life – a goal I had been unsuccessfully pursing for several years – while simultaneously confronting my perfectionism.

Before reading Atomic Habits, I approached exercise with an all-or-nothing mindset, expecting perfection from myself and leaving no room for mistakes. Each time I decided I wanted to exercise regularly, I set my goal: I would go to the gym 5 days a week for an hour a day. Each time, I started off enthusiastically, but my enthusiasm evaporated when I made a mistake or missed a day. Soon, I was constantly thinking, “I didn’t go to the gym enough days this week.” or “I was not there long enough.” or “That was not a good enough workout.” These negative thoughts made me feel bad, and so I stopped going altogether. If I wasn’t doing it perfectly, I wouldn’t do it at all. Over and over, this all-or-nothing mindset made it hard for me to establish and sustain an exercise habit because I was never content with what I did.

After reading Clear’s book, I discovered a solution to this all-or-nothing mindset: the strategy of habit shaping. Habit shaping involves breaking one’s ultimate goal down into smaller goals and mastering each one for a week before moving onto the next. At first, this strategy was incomprehensible to me: The emphasis on small goals seemed trivial and pointless. However, from reading Clear’s book, I realized that mastering these small habits would allow me to succeed in building larger habits, and most importantly, sustaining them. Moreover, it was precisely those small goals that I had previously neglected. Therefore, I resolved to try them. I found that setting small goals allowed me to be find delight in completing any goal, no matter how small. After all, I realized, it’s better to do less than I hoped than nothing at all.

Applying Clear’s habit-shaping strategy, I broke down my overall goal of going to the gym 5 times per week into phases where I focused on smaller goals. The first phase was changing into workout clothes every day. The second phase was stepping out the door and walking around my neighborhood for 5 minutes. The third phase was driving to the gym, exercising for 5 minutes, then leaving. The fourth phase was exercising for 15 minutes once a week. The last phase was exercising 15 minutes 5 times per week. I focused on each phrase for an entire week before moving on to the next phrase.

I have now met my perennial goal of working out 5 times a week. Equally important, I give myself grace and allow for those days to be different. I can work out by walking for 15 minutes or by weightlifting for 45. All that matters is that I worked out. I don’t have to worry about the “perfect” way of sustaining a gym habit.

Atomic Habits taught me how to create an exercise habit without a sense of obligation to impossible perfection. Reading this book, I learned there was nothing wrong with slipping up. Rather, there was a problem with thinking that if something can’t be done perfectly, then it shouldn’t be done at all. I was able to build my exercise habit and overcome my perfectionism by starting small and slowing increasing my goals. My habits do not have to be all-or-nothing. I am content with being somewhere in-between.

Victoria Angulo has been a part of the Interactive Measurement Group since the summer of 2021. During her time in the lab she has learned confirmatory factor analysis to create two conference posters, and she has mentored other lab members in both one-on-one mentoring and group teaching situations. Victoria graduated from UNLV with a B.A. in psychology in the fall of 2021, and will be applying to graduate programs this fall to pursue marriage and family therapy, with the goal of owning a private practice.