Socializing Made Me Whole
I am happier now than I have ever been because I finally embraced the importance of having a social life. I have always known that feeling connected to other people is important. However, I had not realized it is essential. For me, socializing is just as important for my wellbeing as drinking enough water, eating healthy foods and getting enough sleep.
In college, I regularly took on more than I could handle – agreeing to almost every school, work, and volunteer task. I thought it was a good idea, because it would increase my productivity. Needless to say, I was very busy. Busy enough to reject outings with my friends on Friday nights, and to go from visiting my grandparents every week to every other week—sometimes every third week. Although I wasn’t able to see my loved ones often, I did not see the harm in replacing my social time with work, because after all, I was getting things done!
After I graduated college and finished my volunteer responsibilities, I had more free time. It was then that I noticed my busy lifestyle had left me feeling lonely. I reached out to friends and family to arrange hang outs and phone calls. It didn’t take many interactions for me to realize that socializing made me feel comforted, inspired, re-energized, and strongly connected to the people I care about. Flooded with these wonderful emotions, I recognized I was feeling deeply happy – an emotion I had not felt during my busy college years – and made it a goal to continue socializing.
I started calling my friends at least once a week: They make me laugh until my stomach hurt. I returned to having Sunday brunch with my grandparents: I love hearing their childhood stories. I started going on morning walks with my cousin: We both feel better after venting to each other about the trials and tribulations of being the eldest daughters. I started taking my siblings out for treats: Hearing them talk about their goals and dreams inspires me to pursue my own. I returned to having dinner with my parents whenever I can: They comfort and support me like no one else. I feel closer to my friends and family now than I have in a long time.
The advice that I would give to my younger self and to you is to make time to socialize. Looking back, I could have had a social life all along if I had not replaced social opportunities with work. For example, during my work breaks I could have struck up conversations with coworkers instead of sitting alone in my cubicle. During my spare periods in college I could have had lunch with friends instead of by myself.
Socialization is at the core of our existence. Just like drinking, eating, and sleeping, socializing is important for our health. As I head forward into the decades of my working life, I plan to keep meaningful interactions with family and friends as a core pillar of my being. I encourage you to do the same. Find and nourish deep relationships. Laugh and cry. Give to others and depend upon them. If you don’t make time to socialize, you won’t know what you are missing, but you’ll miss it nonetheless.
Jelsy Cadenas-Santos has been a member of the Interactive Measurement Group since fall 2018. During her time in the lab, she created seven conference posters that were presented 12 times, mentored other lab members formally and informally, and served as our Poster Supervisor, Website Coordinator, and Managing Editor, and as a Teaching Assistant for Introductory Statistics. Jelsy graduated from UNLV with a B.A. in psychology in spring 2021. She remains passionate about learning and sharing knowledge, and hopes to eventually pursue a graduate degree.