Communication: You Get Out of It What You Put into It
In the spring of 2022, just after I had completed my bachelor’s degree at UNLV, my parents took me on my first trip to Europe. In the days and weeks leading up to our trip, I remember wondering, “Will people be warm and welcoming toward us, or will they be cold and unfriendly?” Throughout our trip, I learned a very important lesson that shaped my answer to this question. The more you make an effort to communicate with someone, the more open and responsive they’ll be, and the better experience you’ll both have.
This notion started to become apparent on our first day in Barcelona with a small incident at the airport. It all started while we were waiting in line to get through airport security: A woman signaled for us to move over to the much shorter, special assistance line – presumably, because my father was in a wheelchair. Shortly after we made our way over, that same woman signaled a group of young ladies to come up to the same line – apparently, she thought one of the ladies was pregnant. Within moments, a Spanish-speaking airport worker approached one of them, pointed to his belly, and asked in an authoritarian tone, “Bebé?” As soon as she responded – with a somewhat embarrassed laugh – “No, I’m not pregnant,” he pointed to the end of the main line and demanded they go back. She refused and attempted to explain – in English – that they were told to get in this line. Things quickly escalated as they argued back and forth, each in their own languages, until the worker called security, who then escorted them back to the main line.
Afterward, as the airport worker stood there, frustrated about the incident, I noticed there was a water spill on the floor. I wanted to tell him, but I felt nervous. While I knew he didn’t speak English and had just struggled through an aggravating conversation with a language-barrier, I was embarrassed to attempt to communicate using the little bit of Spanish I knew. However, I decided to push past my fear of sounding silly and found the courage to tell him in Spanish as best I could. I said, “Perdón (Pardon),” pointed to the spill, and said, “Agua (Water).” The feeling of embarrassment stayed with me as the words left my mouth, but what happened next overshadowed that feeling. His eyes lit up, his demeanor changed completely, and he thanked me a number of times for letting him know – in Spanish of course. Not only did I feel uplifted for brightening his day, but I also felt just a tad more comfortable in an unfamiliar place.
That night, as my mother and I went to the hotel bar to get some drinks and snacks, I began to order in English. I noticed the blank stare on the bartender’s face; he seemed to have no idea what I was saying and looked rather annoyed. I tried again using some rather broken Spanish and a bit of charades, and his demeanor changed – much like the airport worker’s had. He tried harder to understand me and seemed appreciative that I at least tried to communicate in his language. It was then that I thought, “I may only have taken two years of Spanish in junior high, and I may be nervous about saying something incorrectly with my American accent, but just making an effort will improve my experience and the experience of those around me.”
Later that night, as I thought about the coming days we planned to spend in Italy, I decided to try to learn some essential Italian phrases in hopes that I might have similar, positive experiences in the next country we would visit. While I only had time to learn a few basics, that effort paid off. As we traveled from Palermo to Napoli to Genoa, I saw the differences in people’s responses from when my mother said “Good morning,” and I said “Buongiorno,” and from when my mother said “Excuse me,” and I said “Scusi.” Oftentimes, locals were unresponsive to her English and ignored her. But when I attempted to speak Italian, they responded to me, and their body language was more open.
In retrospect, this adventure taught me that the more I make an effort to communicate with someone, in a way that they are comfortable with, the more likely they’ll be to make an effort to communicate with me. And it was this realization that shaped my overall experience. If I had not made an effort to communicate with others in their preferred language, my first experience in Europe may have been a negative one. I may have come back feeling that the people in Europe are cold and unfriendly – just as I had feared. Instead, I had the opposite experience – I found them to be quite warm and welcoming. The more I made an effort with those around me, the better my encounters were, the better my perception of them was, and the more excited I felt at the prospect of coming back to visit again.
Cassandra Hoffman has been a member of the Interactive Measurement Group since the fall of 2020. During her time in the lab, she has served as a poster team leader and managing editor for the lab’s newsletter, and she has conducted a variety of workshops to help new and existing lab members. In the spring of 2022, she graduated from UNLV with a B.A. in psychology and a minor in neuroscience. In the near future, she plans to pursue a Ph.D. in clinical psychology, during which she hopes to conduct research on moral injury and/or trauma-related disorders.