A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way
I recently read Look Me in the Eye, the story of John Elder, who unknowingly lived with Asperger’s syndrome up until the age of 40 when he was finally diagnosed. John experienced many wonderful moments, like working for a world-famous rock band and becoming a father to his beloved son. Despite the adventures of touring and the joys of fatherhood, life was definitely not easy for John. There were many instances in his life where John was bullied or misunderstood by his parents, his classmates, and his coworkers. Reading about these moments got me thinking about how unnecessarily mean some people can be to others. How different the outcome would have been had people decided to be kind to John. This book made me realize that simple acts of kindness can go a long way. I now appreciate these moments of goodwill more than before and try to spread kindness in my own daily life.
The book describes people being mean to John for no apparent reason. For example, when John was a kid, other kids excluded him from playing with them on the playground. As an adolescent, John still had trouble making friends because people thought he was weird and they wouldn’t even bother to get to know him. If they would’ve treated John kindly and fairly, I am sure they would’ve been delighted to find out what a smart and talented individual he is. However, the people that did treat John with kindness, like his wife, were the people who brought the most joy to his life and the ones who got to know his brilliant mind.
Reading John’s story got me to think of some of my own life experiences. There have been a few instances in my life where a simple act of kindness has made me more optimistic about a negative situation. For example, last semester I was caught up dealing with some personal problems which caused my performance in a class to suffer. I felt disappointed in myself for letting my grade drop, which only made the situation worse. One day after lecture, my professor came up to me as I was packing my things and simply asked me how I was doing. He didn’t mean how I was doing in the class — he could easily find that out by looking up my scores. Rather he was referring to how I was doing in general. After I explained my circumstance, he gave me a little pep talk and then later he made sure I stayed engaged with the class material by asking me about it periodically. Those two little things made all the difference; they helped me get over a bump on the road of my academic journey.
We should not underestimate the power of our kind words or actions. In John’s case, small gestures from his wife made a huge difference in his life. Life can be difficult enough as it is, so it is important to treat others with kindness and compassion because we do not know about their inner struggles or worries at a glance. For John, Asperger’s syndrome makes it difficult to communicate and interact with others in a way that is deemed socially acceptable. For me, it was difficult to overcome a rough patch in my class without the support and encouragement from those around me. Our little acts of kindness can make somebody’s day, somebody’s semester, or somebody’s life better.
Jelsy has been a member of the Interactive Measurement Group since Fall 2018. During her time in lab, she has co-authored a research poster on the perceived social intelligence of robots and has taken on numerous leadership roles. She is majoring in psychology and minoring in biology and hopes to graduate in the Spring of 2021.