Happiness is all Around Me

by Jerlyn Malasig

How does a person attain happiness? Society proclaims fame, fortune, success, and status as the main sources of joy. Because of this, people’s lives revolve around goals that will bring those things to fruition. We can easily fall prey to the misconception that joy only comes from grandiose achievements, but in Short Cuts to Happiness, Ben-Shahar shares the key to meaningful and lasting joy. By shifting your focus to the people that matter most to you and by being present, you can enjoy each moment of your life. The ideas I learned from this book have become constant reminders that the happiness I seek is all around me.

In Short Cuts to Happiness, Ben-Shahar writes about how people, including himself, go through a period in their lives where they feel empty and unfulfilled. To remedy those feelings, they look to what society claims would propel them to new heights. In doing so, they allow other people to dictate what would bring them joy. However, Ben-Shahar learned that, to experience joy, a person does not need an external change, but rather an internal one – one that opens their eyes to the happiness that is all around them.

After reading Ben-Shahar’s book, I thought about my life and how I too might have been mistaken about the true source of happiness. I was surrounded by some of the most talented and successful hospitality professionals. Because I looked up to them, I adopted similar habits of dedicating all my energy to work, intentionally reaching for similar successes. At first, my efforts were recognized, and this led to opportunities that I could never have imagined. I thought I was happy; however, as time passed, the very things that previously brightened my day (e.g., meeting powerful and famous people and attending fancy galas) seemed to lose their effect. Over time, I came to understand that these external rewards were not the true happiness I sought and that these experiences, rooted in pleasure, only temporarily filled my needs. I began to ask myself: what was I doing wrong, and what did I need to change to attain sustainable happiness?

Determined to find answers, I decided to reflect on the things that I thought would lead to happiness and explore different ways that would help me realize my goal. In the past, I pursued happiness by focusing on achieving career success. As a result, the time I spent with family and friends dwindled. However, Ben-Shahar believed the key to happiness is putting effort into nurturing successful relationships instead of pursuing a successful career. I considered his advice and took advantage of any opportunity to spend more time with my family and friends. I participated in the little things, such as accompanying my sister on dog walks, helping my niece do her hair, going on random hikes with friends, and attending impromptu dinners with family and friends. When I prioritized the most important people in my life, a feeling of warmth spread through me; I began to smile more just by being in their presence. All I had to do was shift my focus to the people who mattered most to me.

Ben-Shahar mentions Western culture’s obsession with doing (i.e., goal striving) and how this obsession prevents people from enjoying the fruits of simply being alive. I was focusing so much on my future that I often missed out on the present and the opportunity to take in the beauty and happiness of life along the way. Because I did not want to miss out on any more of these precious moments, I decided to make some changes. I made a conscious effort to remove a huge distraction when I was not in the office – my work electronics. I told myself it was okay if I didn’t respond to emails immediately. When I slowed down and took a break from constantly being on the go, my anxiety levels gradually declined. I found myself appreciating more breathtaking sunsets and enjoying the sounds of birds chirping outside my bedroom window. My deliberate effort to slow down and focus on the present allowed me to experience life in a more meaningful way, embracing and enjoying every little detail as it occurred.

In my quest to find happiness, I discovered that the real source came from shifting my focus to the people I love and living in the moment to appreciate the small things in life. To be happy I didn’t need to achieve success or a certain status. True joy already existed in my life; all I needed to do was look around.

Jerlyn Malasig joined the Interactive Measurement Group in Fall 2020. She holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration and will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in psychology this spring. She is currently the lab’s website coordinator. After graduation, she hopes to pursue a graduate degree in psychology so she can accomplish her goal of becoming a counseling psychologist.